no separate professional self. i exist as one whole human. take it or leave it.
you get the creative with the thoughts that make me this way. i'm on the internet. it's done damage i can't revert. the damage is what makes me tuned in.
hand me a brief and i'll make it happen. that's the whole job. a client's time and dollars should go to good work — not to infighting, exploitation, or to the exec planning their next boat holiday. every hour a room spends on politics is an hour billed against the idea.
the fix is boring. no back channels, no closed doors, no reading the room for whose ego to protect. secrecy is not strategy — it's a tax on the work. the idea gets judged on the idea, in the open, by everyone in it. collaboration is the only thing that's ever won.
psychological safety is the creative process. not a perk of it, not adjacent to it. the work is only as good as what people feel safe enough to say out loud.
credit is not a favor. someone made it — the intern, the editor, the person who said the one thing that cracked it open. i will shout their names from the rooftops.
your title means nothing to me. i don't care how many letters are in your abbreviation. i see all humans equal, and i will loudly get in the way of narcissistic harm — in rooms where that's inconvenient, and especially there. if you're speaking up about it for the first time today, you're late. do it anyway.
i will not remix slop. there's enough on the internet. if you outsourced the thought to a chatbot to make it legible, i'm not putting my name on it.
the internet is somewhere people live. brands are guests. act like it — wipe your feet, contribute something, don't yell over the person who was already talking.
none of this is life or death, and that's the point. the stakes being low is not permission to phone it in. it's permission to try the weird thing.
when a brand builds from a truth, the idea becomes ownable. everything else is rented.
i'll work hard for the work. i won't bleed for a post.
this isn't a list of demands. it's what's left after over a decade of finding out.
Managing Crustacean 🦀
Partner, Creative Director
SOCIAL MEDIA MENACE
